Many plans...

"Many plans are in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand." Proverbs 19:21


Truth... I'm looking at 26 years of plans. Where I am was definitely not my plan. It's funny how we do that. Growing up, my plan was first to be a teacher. My sister and friends, Lizzy & Rachel, would all get together and play school. I would help my mom grade papers (because for once the red pen wasn't on MY homework! ;) ) Then, around 5th grade, the plan changed to being an actress. I spent every moment after school, over summers, in RATS or Summer Institute, going to a magnet school for theater, applying to NYU, all with a passionate desire to perform. Then in college, I planned to be a teacher, though through an unfortunate series of events that would make Lemony Snicket proud, that plan was uprooted. As college wound up, I decided that the only way to have a life with meaning would be to serve God overseas in Thailand, after spending a couple of weeks there rebuilding homes after the tsunami. I became dedicated to applying to and beginning training with the Red Cross to be sent there to help with relief efforts.


That's when God really started shaking things up. I did NOT want a regular job, I did NOT want to stay in the U.S., I did NOT want to live what some would call the "American Dream." But, as He would have it, that's what I was supposed to do. Through a divine set of circumstances, I was given a job within a week of graduating working for the Department of Defense in Arlington, and not only a job, but assurance that I should take it with a pre-orchestrated place to live and a HEAVY conviction on my heart that even though this didn't seem nearly as important as MY plans, His would be greater. So I went. And formed more plans. In five years, I would be vested, have my student loans paid off, would have gone through my TOEFL certification, and would head to Japan to teach English there, meanwhile engaging in ministry with the kids I taught and local churches. A good plan, right??


And still, He would do more, because about 10 months into my time there, a heavy burden was being placed on my heart that, as wonderful as my time there was (and trust me, there was no better job or coworkers anywhere!), my Father wanted more from me and for me. He had given me gifts, desires, needs to be fulfilled elsewhere in seeking Him. And after a few months of praying and being hit over the head by the Holy Spirit, I conceded that it was a church plant in Richmond that He had set in place. He wanted me there. He wanted me to lay aside yet another set of plans to run after Him instead. And not a single thing would stand in His way.


I remember specifically praying soon after beginning my true relationship with Christ my sophomore year of college, that God would take my life for the sake of Christ... That He would take it and set it on fire with His glory. That He would not allow me to get in the way. That when I was too weak to give it over to Him, that He would remove it from my hands. I wanted to know what it meant to surrender and find, as it says in Matthew 10, "He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it." That same idea is mentioned 5 times in the gospels, and implied countless others. He is beyond all things, His counsel greater than any earthly wisdom. How can this world compete?? Short answer- It can't. In His presence is fullness of joy, in His right hand are pleasures forever. (Psalm 16)


As I briefly look at where God has brought me now, I have no idea how it is that He got me here. I see the steps, but His fingerprints are unmistakable. I am in love. My Savior that wakes me every morning and woos me to sleep every night desires that I forfeit my shoddy attempts at order and planning that I might see the things He is accomplishing and run this race that HE has marked out. Though it may appear crazy in this world, I will continue to answer the question of "What's next?" with now certain confidence that I will not know, but whatever it is, it is surely His... and I rest in that. 26 years and counting...