To die is gain...

I've been mulling over this passage for weeks now... Philippians 1:18-21 - "What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."


I have a beautiful friend. God has blessed me with her love and fellowship for about 6 months now. This woman loves God. Her entire life proclaims it. You should hear some of the amazing things she's been witness to. But this particular evening, I came to see her, and was immediately struck by what I saw- I could see the battle marks. I could see the stripes where the enemy's lashed out with cutting blows. I could see her heaviness of heart from fighting in the dark. Everything in her was weary, and I could literally see it in her eyes. That evening, we talked, we laughed, we sang, we cried,... we probably would have danced were it possible. And at the close of our evening together, we prayed. I can't express what that kind of prayer is, where you know that everything in you is being surrendered and that it is given to a Father who is deeply moved to compassion with regard to His children's cries. And the Holy Spirit moved even in that moment. Refreshment, relief, hope, joy, peace... I left that evening with a renewed mind, seeing her joy in Christ alone.


This incredible woman knows what it means to wage war, but I'm not talking about the kind where you ride out on a field for all to see, slay the enemy, and are brought home with pomp and circumstance. There are struggles that wage within each of us, deeply. Hers is a fight with a sly enemy that would say she has grown useless and is to be thrown aside. Another's is a struggle to give up a trust in something tangible for a greater hope in that which is not seen. Another's is a belief that the affection of that one person is worth the compromise of our purity in Christ. Or perhaps there is a fear of the absolute mockery risked to believe wholeheartedly in something for which we are assured will lead to persecution and hatred by this world we live in. Or deep, deep down, what if it's all a sham?... An attack at every heart, though it may take different forms. Am I able? Am I sufficient? Am I strong enough? Can I even fathom what it might mean to endure long suffering?... But is it really about me?? Because if it is, I can tell you without a doubt here and now, the answer to each of those questions is "No."


In that Philippians passage, Paul's heart is exposed. His crazy, fanatical, zealous heart... This man who described his own situation as riddled with hardship- Read 2 Corinthians 11 and 12, and there's a sobering reality to the condition of the man who wrote these letters. And Paul is one of a cloud of witnesses who suffered, believing daily that there were greater things to come. And how did they do this?! - "through prayers and provision of the Spirit," a joy in a purpose that could not be stamped out. Paul did not need to know the outcome of the situation he was in, whether he was to live or die (a hard thing to fathom, knowing he was sitting in prison with a death sentence looming). He was not at all focused on the circumstances themselves. He confirmed this one thing, that Christ was to be exalted, and to this end, regardless of whether that would be best served by his living or dying, he viewed this outcome as GAIN. Too often, I find myself caught in the "Why" dilemma. Why this and not that, Lord? Why here and not there, Father? Surely, this can't be Your BEST for me, can it?? I look at life and see it as obedience, waiting from experience to experience, my faith determined by my circumstances. But there is a HUGE difference between obedience in following steps and an all-encompassing heart of joyful submission! And I would contend that apart from finding daily joy in the very nature of God and the person of Jesus, we will have no will to fight the battles that come. There is a reason we are called by love to love! If our sole purpose and aim is for Christ to be lifted high no matter WHAT we're doing, in the desert or in the garden, this hope does not disappoint! For we know the One who makes all things work according to His will is faithful, even though we may be faithless... Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess!


I pray that my heart would enjoy this beautiful time. That it would not be impatient or unsatisfied. That my one goal would remain fixed on the prize of that upward call in Christ Jesus. And I pray that wherever He has intentionally and divinely placed you, you rejoice in this, knowing that HE is our source, our love, our provision, our strength. He knows where He has you, He knows the depths of your heart, and He will be exalted through your life, if you give it over to Him. He is our perseverance... our JOY to fight another day. And nothing could be sweeter.


There is a beautiful hymn that constantly reminds me of this joy, and I hope that you would be called to your knees as well, knowing that in Christ alone, your Hope is found... as for me, "til He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ, I'll stand." By His abundant daily grace...


"No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLy8ksqGf9w&feature=related